My Parent Got Scammed — What to Do Now (And How to Prevent It From Happening Again)

You just found out. Maybe your parent told you. Maybe the bank called. Maybe you noticed the checking account balance and your stomach dropped.

Your parent has been scammed. Money is gone. You’re furious, scared, and overwhelmed.

Take a breath. Here’s exactly what to do, in order.

The First 24 Hours

Time matters. Scammers move money fast — often within hours. Every step you take now increases the (slim) chance of recovery.

1. Contact the Bank — Immediately

Call your parent’s bank and report the fraud. Ask them to:

• Freeze the affected accounts to prevent further withdrawals
• Initiate a fraud claim for the specific transactions
• Flag the account for enhanced monitoring
• Issue new account numbers and cards if credentials were shared

If the transfer was a wire, ask about a wire recall — banks can sometimes claw back wire transfers within 24–72 hours, but the window closes fast.

If gift cards were involved, call each retailer’s fraud department with the card numbers. Some (especially Apple and Google) have fraud teams that can freeze unredeemed balances.

2. File a Police Report

Go to your parent’s local police department and file a report. This likely won’t lead to an arrest — most phone scammers operate overseas — but the report creates a paper trail that helps with:

• Bank fraud claims
• Insurance claims
• Identity theft resolution
• Adult Protective Services investigations

Get the report number. You’ll need it.

3. Report to the FTC and FBI

• FTC: ReportFraud.ftc.gov — this feeds into the Consumer Sentinel database used by law enforcement nationwide
• FBI IC3: ic3.gov — especially important for losses over $10,000 or any cryptocurrency involvement

The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) tracks elder fraud nationally and reports that seniors lose billions annually to fraud. Filing here ensures your parent’s case is counted in federal statistics and may be picked up by an active investigation.

4. Contact Adult Protective Services

If your parent is showing signs of cognitive vulnerability — they didn’t understand what happened, they want to send more money, they’re defending the scammer — contact your state’s Adult Protective Services (APS). They can:

• Assess your parent’s vulnerability
• Connect you with local resources
• Document the exploitation for potential legal action

You can find your local APS agency through the National Adult Protective Services Association (NAPSA).

5. Secure Identity and Credit

If your parent shared personal information (SSN, date of birth, account numbers):

• Place a credit freeze at all three bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion) — this is free and prevents new accounts from being opened
• Set up fraud alerts so creditors must verify identity before extending credit
• Check credit reports for accounts your parent didn’t open
• Change passwords on email and any financial accounts

The Next Week

Have the Conversation

This is the hardest part. Your parent is probably feeling some combination of:

• Shame — “I should have known better”
• Denial — “They said they’d pay me back” or “It wasn’t really a scam”
• Fear — “My kids are going to take away my independence”
• Grief — they may have genuinely believed the scammer cared about them

Approaching this conversation the right way is critical. For a detailed guide on navigating these discussions without damaging your relationship, read our post on how to talk to your parent about scams.

Do not:

• Say “I told you so” or “How could you fall for that?”
• Get visibly angry at your parent (be angry at the scammer)
• Threaten to take away their phone or independence

Do:

• Say “These people are professionals. This isn’t your fault.”
• Listen to the full story without interrupting
• Ask if there are any other payments or conversations you should know about
• Emphasize that you’re on their side

Shame is the scammer’s best friend. If your parent feels too ashamed to tell you about the next suspicious call, you’ve lost your best early warning system.

Check for Ongoing Contact

Scammers rarely stop after one extraction. Check whether:

• The scammer is still calling or texting
• Your parent has been told they need to pay a “fee” to recover their money (a common follow-up scam)
• Other scammers have contacted them — stolen victim lists are sold and traded

If contact is ongoing, help your parent block the numbers and change their phone number if necessary. Knowing the signs that a scam is still underway will help you determine whether your parent is still being targeted.

Assess the Financial Damage

Get a clear picture:

• How much was lost?
• Over what time period?
• Through what channels? (Wire transfer, gift cards, cryptocurrency, cash)
• Are there recurring payments or subscriptions?

This determines your recovery strategy and your parent’s financial stability going forward.

Recovery (What’s Realistic)

Let’s be honest: recovery rates for elder fraud are under 5%. Most money sent via wire transfer, cryptocurrency, or gift cards is gone.

However, you may have options:

• Bank fraud claims can sometimes recover wire transfers (especially if caught within 48 hours)
• Credit card chargebacks are possible if a card was used
• Some gift card companies will freeze unredeemed balances
• Homeowner’s/renter’s insurance sometimes covers fraud losses (check the policy)

Prevention: Making Sure It Doesn’t Happen Again

Recovery is unlikely. Prevention is everything. After the dust settles:

Financial Safeguards

• Add yourself as a trusted contact at their bank
• Set up transaction alerts for any amount over a threshold
• Consider a daily spending limit on debit cards
• If appropriate, explore joint account or power of attorney arrangements

Communication Safeguards

• Enable carrier-level spam filtering
• Set unknown calls to go to voicemail
• Establish a rule: “Call me before you send anyone money”
• Make it clear this rule applies to everyone — government, tech support, romantic interests, everyone

Monitoring

• The best prevention is early detection — knowing when a pattern is developing before it becomes a loss
• Track who’s calling, how often, and whether conversation patterns are changing
• A weekly review of your parent’s phone activity catches problems early

The Bottom Line

Discovering your parent has been scammed is gut-wrenching. But what you do next matters. Secure the accounts, report the crime, and — most importantly — don’t let shame prevent your parent from telling you about the next suspicious contact.

If you want a system that catches these patterns early so you never have to go through this again, join the KindWatch waitlist. We’re building monitoring that detects scam patterns before the money moves.